Letting Go and Moving On

How to Move On - How to Let Go
- by Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can learn how to let go of the past. Whether you have experienced a break up with someone you cared for deeply, whether death has taken a loved one, whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member, whether you have lost a job. Learn how to move on and let go -- life can be joyful and rewarding again.

First, let's take a look at what people often do in time of loss that actually makes the situation worse, These are some things to avoid...

1. Don't spend too much time or energy mourning what has happened. Let a broken romance or friendship go. Let a lost job become an experience and no more. Even with death, there is a time to mourn, and there is a time to renew and to move on with your own life.

2. Don't over-react to your loss and take any sudden actions without time for careful contemplation. If you are feeling desperately lonely or frightened, don't take actions based on those emotions. Seek support in the short term, and only make significant commitments after you have restored a sense of being centered and confident.

3. Don't spend a lot of time alone. Although you may feel the urge to avoid interacting with your friends and family, it is crucial in a time of loss that you keep up social contacts. Try not to lose the friendships and support network you have built, but if you do find yourself isolated from previous connections, focus all your energy on building new (non-romantic) connections. Although these new connections may eventually provide the path to a new job, new romantic interest, or new best friend, don't hurry that process or abuse your new acquaintances. Let your new casual connections remain casual, and friendly.

4. Don't complain about what has happened, and don't listen to your friends' complaints. It is better to focus your thoughts on positive matters. Why spoil your day complaining about a backstabbing ex-friend, ex-lover, or ex-boss. Keep your attention on building a bright future.

So what will help you move on and let go? Try these tips...

1. Keep busy with enjoyable activities - especially group activities. Continue with those groups and activities you previously enjoyed, and add some new ones. To the extent possible, focus on groups and activities that include members of both genders, but are not dating related. Best of all, find activities that have a physical aspect. Try a book discussion group, a church or community committee, yoga, Qigong, hiking, biking, cooking classes, wine tasting, classes of any sort. Don't limit yourself. Fill your time with many activities -- both old and new.

2. Have positive conversations with your friends and family. Talk about anything other than your loss. Keep the conversations positive and focused on the future. If some of your acquaintances persist in bringing up your loss or being negative, spend less time with them and find more positive people to spend time with.

3. Be of service to those who are less fortunate than yourself. There is no better way to get over feeling sorry for yourself, than being of service. Volunteer at the Red Cross blood bank, the local hospital, the library, your church... The possibilities are unlimited -- just do it. And besides, service organizations are a great place to make professional contacts, develop friendships, or meet your soul-mate.

4. Get inspirational support daily... read an inspirational book or quotations, meditate, do yoga or Qigong, perhaps light a candle and contemplate positive thoughts, or begin the habit of daily journaling.

5. If you have lost your job, naturally you will want to search for a new job or career, but first make sure you are in a good frame of mind by following the previous tips. You will be far more successful in a job search if you are feeling positive and courageous - and you will be enjoying a higher quality of living. Be creative and persistent in a job search, but never allow desperation to take control of your life.

Have patience, keep your thoughts positive, and soon you will be over your sadness and anger and moving forward into your new life.

The President's Speech

If you liked The King's Speech, I think you'll appreciate this ....

As this week comes to an end .......

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the things I get to do today, just because I'm not gonna be drinking. In my drinking days, if I didn't get it done by about 9am, it probably wasn't going to happen. I'd be drinking by 9 and wouldn't be able to drive for the rest of the day. I certainly would not have the incentive or ambition to do much around the house. It would interfere with drinking. My whole damn day was consumed by ... consumption!

that I'm able to pass along wisdom learned from others --- to others

that I don't have to apologize for being the person I should be

that spring training is well underway in Florida and Arizona -- the 2011 baseball regular season begins in just 4 weeks!


You know you love someone when you know you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

Made a decision .......

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for positive examples of recovery

that, unlike Charlie Sheen, I couldn't stop drinking by mind control

for the power of Step 3 in my daily life. Without it, not much would be different than my drinking days.

for Herbert Spencer. Do you know the quote attributed to him?


Don't let anyone else take the measure of your worth and capabilities.
Always stand proud in who you are!
- Margaret Spellings

Mid-Week GrrrrrratiTude!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

as today begins, I can't help but thank all of the people who will teach me something today. My job is to pay attention.

for people in the program who are willing to do whatever it takes to recover from the disease of alcoholism

for those with courage and integrity

that I haven't found a reason to misbehave today (yet). Of course, it's only 5am.


Simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Angel Ruiz

Welcome to March!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I truly have an open mind (I think)

that I have learned (sometimes, the hard way) to monitor my actions and behavior

that I deserve to be treated with respect

that I'm NOT Charlie Sheen


Each one has to find his peace from within.
And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Especially .............

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm a little bit ashamed of my critical words (to anyone willing to listen) following a dreadful AA birthday meeting where a number of people with 15+ years of sobriety were incredibly self-serving. That does not give me the right to froth at the mouth and spew venom towards them, especially behind their backs. I have a lot of work to do in this area.

for my sponsor, especially when he's not around (but he's always looking over my shoulder)

especially, for my 6:30am colleagues as we become a team in building a Mardi Gras float for a fundraiser

that we had a successful initial committee meeting of the 2011 Houston Roundup. Many more meetings to come throughout this year. The event doesn't happen until late November.

Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell

Free Hugs ........

All you gotta do is just click HERE !!

New Technology

I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by this.

the only requirement ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I still have a desire to drink alcohol no more

for Tradition 3 - the only requirement ...

for all the blogger friends who are still posting and especially to those who are no longer posting, but have been a part of my recovery

for GodShots ......... I had a set of wheel rims for sale on Craigslist since January. I've had many phone calls and "promises" from people that they would buy them, but no luck. Wednesday, a guy called and said he wanted them. He came by last night and bought them. So I went to my account at Craigslist to remove the classified advert. It had just expired and had been removed automatically during the afternoon. Voila!


Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Behavior.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have much better behavior outwardly than I used to. My mind still "goes there" at times, but I don't usually behave too badly.

that I no longer spend any energy trying to find excuses for my bad behavior

for a new insight to doing a daily 10th step -- "Did my self-will cause me or another person difficulty today?"

for some progress and never perfection



If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb

Humility is the key

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that sobriety and recovery are so popular amongst the crowd of people with whom I choose to associate

for all the jobs I had in my younger days, which provided me with a solid foundation to live a full life and experience things I never expected to experience

yesterday, our 6:30am group read Gutter Bravado from the 4th edition of Alcoholics Anonymous. I love these quotes ... "planned abstinence was extrememly stressful." ..... "the downward spiral of my life began making smaller circles." ... " I began to feel like a clown juggling too many balls." I really identify with these.

that I keep trying to do and be my best; when I fail, I learn a lesson


Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

Insanity

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I think I had some good words of encouragement to a new sponsee who relapsed on crack. He called and was crying terribly because he just "graduated" from a treatment center that charged him $90,000. He wanted to return and try it again. Insanity?

that I was able to embrace a higher power, against all odds

that I have so many options today, especially the good ones


The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

back to gratitude ........

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I remember to go to my regular AA meetings so I won't forget what it was like before I went to my regular AA meetings

for moments of peace and serenity and the awareness that comes from those moments

that the early guys and gals in AA recognized the necessity of principles before personalities

that although I'm almost 57 years old, I still love to be silly


A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb

Idiots

Riddles

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three
rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full
of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions
that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over
5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go
out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner. How can this be?

3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when
you throw it away?

4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the
words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how
quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so
ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In
fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is highly unusual though. Study
it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But
if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without
any coaching!


SEE BELOW









THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE OF THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:


1. The third room.. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are
dead.

That one was easy, right?

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband,
developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).

3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today,
and tomorrow!

5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the
English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.


How did you do?

Unconditional Compassion

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that it doesn't hurt to be compassionate, loving and tolerant

for new behaviors, no matter how difficult it is to form habits

for an acute awareness that most of the people with whom I come into contact with have issues and may very well be hurting today; it's my job to be an example of recovery in all the ways I can

that I have no hidden agenda(s)



Success is not the key to happiness.
Happiness is the key to success.
If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
- Albert Schweitzer

Happy birthday MOM!

1924

1966

2005

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my Mom would have been 88 years old today. She was born in 1923 and died in August 2008. She was a major guiding influence in my life, her and my father having adopted me at birth. As a 50+ year old man in recovery, my finest moments were the 3 years after her major stroke, until she died. My living amends to her were to be present in her life, much more so than I had been while drinking. I became her primary caretaker and handled most details with my sister's assistance and approval. I visited her in hospital and in her nursing home numerous times each month, often just sitting by her bedside without her conscious knowledge of my presence. I think of her almost daily and miss her. But as a realist, I know she lived a full life and it was her time to go. She had a wonderful life.

for awareness not to make permanent decisions from temporary situations

for the generosity of my friends

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Step 6

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for this paragraph from Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions .......

Self-righteous anger also can be very enjoyable. In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact that many people annoy us, for it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority. Gossip barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination, has its satisfactions for us, too. Here we are not trying to help those we criticize; we are trying to proclaim our own righteousness.

I have so much to learn

that I'm willing to learn all I can


Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Peaceful Easy Feeling

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for good things that happen when I get out of the way

for Step One meetings because they are the basic reminders that I can never hear enough about

for clearer perceptions than I used to have

that I do my very best to follow through on committments -- I get pretty tired of so many people who agree to do something and then don't do it.


You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
- John Wooden

V-Day

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for another weekend of complete sobriety from mind-altering liquids and drugs; that makes 385 consecutive weekends of sobriety (LOL)

that my friend David D. got to speak his sobriety story on Saturday; he's moving to California next week, so it was just in time

that 2 good friends are celebrating 35 years of continuous sobriety; one celebrated yesterday and one today. Congratulations to Frank J. and Bob S. Really though, I want to thank these guys for showing me how to be a great example of recovery.

that I have a Valentine

If you understand, things are just as they are;
if you do not understand, things are just as they are.
- Zen Proverb

When things work

If you thought that the people who set up a room full of dominoes to have them knocked over later was amazing, you haven't seen anything yet. There are no computer graphics or digital tricks in these images. Everything that you see happened in real time exactly as you see it.

The recording required 606 takes and in the first 605 takes there always was something, that didn't work (usually of minor importance). The recording cost 6 million dollars and it took 3 months to finish, including the engineering design of the sequence.

The duration of the video is only 2 minutes, but every time that Honda shows the commercial on British television, they make enough money to support any of us for the rest of our lives. However, this commercial has turned out to be the most displayed in the history of the Internet.

The Slogan Slapper

No regrets

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I choose NOT to get involved in the hatred of other peoples

for a good attitude - it will make a bad day better and a good day great!

for normalcy - whatever that is.

that I have a Valentine

He who spends time regretting the past loses the present and risks the future.
- Quevedo

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been".
- John Greenleaf Whittier

Regret is an appalling waste of energy, you can't build on it - it's only good for wallowing in.
- Katherine Mansfield

Simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Angel Ruiz

"as is"

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for Step 6 and the willingness to be "entirely ready" to let go of a few of my character defects

for ALL the people in my life - those who I feel close to and those to whom my instincts teel me to stay away from

for calmness, being contented and serenity

that Hayden made it home in one piece


To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

2+9=11

arrival of a cold front

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for almost infinite patience that I didn't used to have; I'm not sure where it came from, but it seems to coincide with my level of spiritual fitness. hmmmmmmmmm...

that I don't have to wear a flat-top in order to have a level head

that an old friend showed up at Lambda yesterday and we got to spend the afternoon together

for healthy relationships - something pretty much unknown to me before I got sober

that my significant other returns from overseas today. He's been away for a month. nuff said.


Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I'm so glad we have this time together ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for dinner last night with a friend; we had a good chat, one that we both needed

that I feel comfortable with life and with all those about me

for those times during they day (any day, every day) when I recognize that the steps of A.A. are working me

that I survived my drinking days to become what I am supposed to be


The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
- Benjamin Mays

Taking care of me

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for acceptance of things just the way they are; to feel any other way is to cause myself problems

that I got to share my experience, strength and hope Saturday night for 55 minutes. Some of you call this qualifying; down here we call it a speaker meeting. I was so focused that the first time I looked at the clock I saw that I was already 3 minutes past time to stop. LOL The last time I did this I ended up 20 minutes short. Why the difference? I know this: I am in such a good place emotionally and spiritually that I can just go on and on. I want to give away what I've learned about myself and about recovery.
Where did this come from?

for so many people who support me. I have a difficult time accepting this.
Is this a low self-esteem issue?


Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.
- The Buddha

He who takes medicine and neglects his diet wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb

A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb

paraprosdokians

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. Enjoy!


The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way; so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
To steal an idea from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put " A DOCTOR."

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Some cause happiness wherever they go.. Others, whenever they go.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Having a bad day?

being sober and stayin' that way

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the results of being sober

that I can't be sober 2 days at a time

that I've learned how to stay sober

that I choose to do the right things (mostly)

that I know how to take direction, without resentment


"The gap between your expectations and your reality is your suffering".
~ St. John Augustine

Smart cat and some butterflies

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the Promises listed on pages 83/84 of Alcoholics Anonymous are mostly true for me, most of the time

for hope and faith in my life today

that my HP has no limits except for those that I place on him/her/it/whatever

for a day without pressing projects -- this is really rare for this retired guy



There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.
- Richard Buckminster Fuller

'Just living is not enough,' said the butterfly, 'one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower.'
- Hans Christian Anderson

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
- Richard Bach

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore

workin' it

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for what is possibly the ultimate honor in recovery; listening to the fifth step of a recovering alcoholic

for AHA! moments, whenever they come. Funny how they are never expected. I guess that's why they're called AHA! moments. LOL

for some cool thoughts about my mother. Sometimes, I really miss her presence.

that I've never been a troublemaker although I have always enjoyed stirring up some ____.


Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.
- Anonymous

Eyes Wide Open

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have a conscious contact with my HP every morning and every night before falling to sleep. It has become a way of living that I absolutely must have. Before recovery, it would never have been possible.

that I'm a survivor and it's for a reason

that I will hear a 5th step from a sponsee later today; one of the finest honors I have experienced

that I have no feelings of entitlement

You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen

Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for birthday nights at Lambda Center, where we celebrate years of continuous sobriety every month. For January there were 35 people celebrating 480 years of not drinking.

that my form of mental illness doesn't require me to make a total fool of myself

for the way that things happen, just the way they're supposed to happen. I'm grateful when I recognize this.

for the 22,000 runners who competed in the 39th Annual Houston Marathon yesterday

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Stress management

I did not write this. Someone emailed it to me and I would like to pass it along to you....



A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'..... she fooled them all... "How heavy is this glass of water?", she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night... pick them up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax, pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it and the now 'supposed' stress that you've conquered!"


1 * Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker..

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it..

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15 * You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

19 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

20 * It was I, your friend!

*Save the earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!

I owe my mother ...

1.. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do."

16.. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23.. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25.. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"

Bye Bye Brougham

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


for some closer-than-usual and more personal fellowship this past week or so

for Tradition One of Alcoholics Anonymous --- "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity." We spent an hour discussing that yesterday morning at the 6:30am meeting I attend.

that I'm getting to know the guy inside me a bit better each day

that I sold one of my fine cars yesterday. I'm gonna miss it. I over-extended a bit last year and am needing to downsize. I paid a pretty hefty price for driving the pictured car for only 4 months. I'm not a very good car guy as I buy with emotion instead of practical sense. Oh well.

Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
- Zhuangzi

More is being revealed

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I completed my month of commitment of chairing the 12:15 Speaker meetings

for a small AHA! moment regarding some childhood thinking. It's so true what they say -- More Shall Be Revealed.

that I no longer sit on a barstool, fantasizing and wishing

I'm not so great at math. One of you tell me WHY this works.
Take the last 2 digits of the year you were born plus the age you will be this year and it will equal 111.

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

today's potpourri

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the 3rd tradition ... "The only requirement for membership in AA is the desire to stop drinking." It doesn't say quit drinking or to do something about your drinking; it says stop drinking.

that my physical health didn't suffer too much from my drinking. I had progressively worse DT's ove rthe last 10 years I drank, but it disappeared within a week of stopping

for my spiritual life; it's mine and NO ONE can take it away. But alcohol can.

for someone who returned to the rooms of AA yesterday after a relapse after 8 years of being sober

that I watched the President last night so I could get the message from the horse's mouth instead of hearing some reporter's opinion of what he said


Begin each day as if it were on purpose.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Basic stuff .....

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the basics ......
don't drink
go to meetings
get a sponsor
read the literature
establish a conscious contact with a Higher Power

for more clarity of thought (I have my moments)

that it rained all day yesterday in Houston and didn't even flood

for TV games shows -- I've always loved 'em


More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent.
- Billy Sunday

Transparency

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm focused on what I do; I just don't know what's coming next (usually)

that I have no particular secrets; I just don't tell everything to everybody

for a fun and busy weekend. Saturday was all about recovery and putting on a talent show. I was just the emcee so I didn't have to perform, but I had to know a few details about the 19 different performers. It went almost flawless and I believe everyone enjoyed the show. We have a lot of talent. Alcoholics are definitely over-achievers.

that some people seem to trust me enough to seek advice (or maybe just my opinion) LOL

that my partner is OK. He's quite ill in London with a virus that's going around. He's lucky in that he's staying with a relative who happens to be a nurse.


Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.
- John F. Kennedy

Want my cell phone?

(This is not my story, but it almost could be)


When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."

Classic songs - almost

Old classics updated with new words.

From comedian Tim Hawkins.



click HERE

going forward

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I get to emcee the above (poster) event tomorrow night

for the concept of trudging

that I don't have to "get there" in a hurry; I have the rest of my life.

that my journey is going to be the most exciting part of "getting there"

to know many of my limitations and the opportunity to realize and acknowledge more of them in the future


When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
- Lao Tzu

Shakespeare said it best

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my vision has widened since I got sober

for the subtle changes that Al Anon is making in my relationships perceptions

that my friend Don B. shared his experience yesterday at the noon meeting

for patience; without it, I would not be sober


Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
- Paul Boese

Follow me

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have some sober history and more and more sober experiences

that I ran into one of my first sober friends after a 2-year absence

that I don't get upset at little things (except sometimes at home, LOL)

for some different behavior at unexpected times



Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Tools

"What NOT to do on your lunch break today."



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to remember that I didn't get sober until I had a Higher Power to surrender to. I can't be in recovery from my alcoholism unless I practice the 12 steps and 12 traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous each and every day.

for all of the spiritual tools I've been offered in recovery

for acceptance of others as doing the best they know how

that the Truxillo House, a 3/4 house for recovering alkies/addicts, has finally reopened after a serious fire 13 months ago. They rebuilt with private donations. No insurance. No government funding.


Too many people grow up. That's the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up. They forget.
- Walt Disney

MLK

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have NO hate in my life. It's been many years since I've felt that emotion. I am frequently perplexed by those who hate others because of their beliefs. It seems to me that I must allow all people to be free to believe as they wish, without hating them. That doesn't mean I have to agree with them, but I must give them all the leeway I want for myself.

Anything else speaks of hypocrisy.

that Syd is celebrating a birthday today

that I saw The King's Speech yesterday. An excellent movie!



Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
- Martin Luther King Jr.

Attitude

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes. . . . than what other people think. . . . . or say. . . . . . . . or do.

It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home.

The remarkable thing is ….. that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for the day.

We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play the one string we have … our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. And so it is with you.
We are in charge of our attitudes!

Author unknown

Definitions

CANNIBAL
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

"We're wise to acknowledge miracles."

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the miraculous recovery (so far) of Congresswoman Giffords in Tuscon. Her primary physician, in a news conference yesterday, said the doctors have done just about all they can do and must now let her recovery take over.
He also said, "We're wise to acknowledge miracles."

for Tradition 12 of Alcoholics Anonymous --- "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities."

that an ability to live and let live is crucial to my peace and serenity

that the timeline of my life seems to be just what it's supposed to be


Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman,
before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.
- John Quincy Adams

Happy Joyous and Free

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a heightened sense of the importance of humility as I understand it

that Ginger S related some of her dramatic story of experience yesterday

for peace in my little corner of the world

that my co-chair and I have begun some serious planning for the 2011 Houston Roundup, scheduled for late November.



It is our choices ... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Mid-Week Musings

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I actually remembered to use some of my spiritual/recovery tools when I needed to

that I get to experience another day of thinking, not drinking

for the alkies I get to work with and get to know

for more awareness of when to say no

that our friend, Mary in Denver, will be runnin' again!

that my partner made it safely to London; he'll be there for a month


The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

1 11 11

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a wonderful 1st step meeting when we had a newcomer (first AA meeting) at the 6:30am meeting yesterday. We rarely have a first-timer that early in the morning.

that I can remember to tell a newcomer to return for a second meeting; I think that's the most important meeting they may ever attend.

for a seemingly increasing clarity of thinking

that I have no desire to be popular, but I do like for people to like me


Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Post #2800

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to listen to my friend Juan O. tell his story of experience, strength and hope. He's 19 months sober and has come a long, long way in that short time period.

for restraint of tongue AND pen AND keyboard

for a newly-developing ability of not taking the bait because usually I'd rather be happy than right

that I don't believe everything I read on the internet or hear on the news


In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein

I'm just the messenger ...

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

Piano Brothers

If you're offended by this, talk to your sponsor.

I see you!

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

for familiarity

to know that I have so much more to learn and most of that will come from experience

that solutions to problems (large and small) often come disguised which means I have to remain observant

for those who came before me


You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis

take your pick

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for another serene day - that makes about 3 weeks, ever since I lowered and all but eliminated my expectations

that Melody G. told her interesting story yesterday at the noon AA speaker meeting.

for the springtime weather we're having - I'm wearing shorts every day after early morning 40's

for Mr SponsorPants and his post yesterday. Maybe the best blogpost I've ever read. Click HERE to see it.


Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals.
- Henry Ford

up to speed

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

I try not to romanticize my drinking days, but memories of those times (good and bad) are necessary for me to keep fresh. Yesterday I was reminded about those first days of drinking as a teenager and the warm feeling of Drambouie as it slowly slipped down my throat. I can look back on that and know now that my alcoholism began then.

for this quote from the Big book, 4th edition, page 450 ...... "I had to separate my sobriety from everything else that was going on in my life. No matter what happened or didn't happen, I couldn't drink."

that today, I get to chair the first of 4 Wednesday noon speaker meetings this month

that my work on lowering my expectations (of everything) is on track and working well


Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
- Mother Teresa

it's in the trunk ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a wonderful Step 8 meeting; I shared about becoming willing to make amends. It's not always easy, but it's certainly worth it.

for a clear head

that I have an instruction manual that tells me how to get sober, how to stay sober and how to live sober

that we got a brand new car yesterday (not another one of my old collector cars). Our 3rd straight Nissan Murano. I think it may be the most car for the money.


This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare

Back to my routine

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that the holidays are over and life can return to normal, whatever that is

for fellowship in AA meetings - before and after

that I was present to hear the recovery story of a young woman from Ohio who has the gift of communication

that I stayed home on New Year's Eve; no desire to be out with the revellers. Does this make me an old fogey? If so, that's just fine with me.

for lovely weather here in Houston over the weekend


You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
~~ unknown

S.T.C.

Since seniors are texting more these days, there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is for you.

* ATD ~ At The Doctor's
* BFF ~ Best Friend Farted
* BTW ~ Bring The Wheelchair
* BYOT ~ Bring Your Own Teeth
* CBM ~ Covered By Medicare
* CUATSC ~ See You At The Senior Center
* DWI ~ Driving While Incontinent
* FWB ~ Friend With Beta Blockers
* FWIW ~ Forgot Where I Was
* FYI ~ Found Your Insulin
* GGPBL ~ Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
* GHA ~ Got Heartburn Again
* HGBM ~ Had Good Bowel Movement
* IMHO ~ Is My Hearing-Aid On?
* LMDO ~ Laughing My Dentures Out
* LOL ~ Living On Lipitor
* LWO ~ Lawrence Welk's On
* OMMR ~ On My Massage Recliner
* OMSG ~ Oh My! Sorry, Gas!
* ROFL-CGU ~ Rolling On The Floor Laughing-Can't Get Up
* SGGP ~ Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
* TTYL ~ Talk To You Louder
* WAITT ~ Who Am I Talking To?
* WTFA ~ Wet The Furniture Again
* WTP ~ Where's The Prunes?
* WWNO ~ Walker Wheels Need Oil
* GGLKI ~ Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
* NCDCWPH ~ Never confuse denture cream with preparation H
* OMG ~ Oh my grandkids


I'll leave you with this non-holiday joke ........

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never exercise.” “That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?” He responded, “Twenty-six.”

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