a different slant

There. It's fixed.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful


for another gentle reminder that I'm not getting any younger; intellectually of course, I know this. But sometimes I need physical evidence and usually my HP is more than willing to provide that evidence. Damnit.

that we read Bill's Story yesterday morning. A timeless piece of writing. If you have not read it in the past, let's say 6 months, pick up your book and read it again. It's even better if you read outloud in a group of more than one. If you don't know what I'm talking about, don'tworryboutit.

that awareness of my flaws really cuts down on my denial of them

for my sponsee who get it. I am working with some guys who are willing to do whatever it takes and it's a real pleasure to know them and watch them.


The key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness. - Dalai Lama

musing

There. It's fixed.



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I have yet found an excuse to drink alcohol since the day I got sober in 2003

that my little illness only lasted about 20 hours. Amazing how quickly the human body can recover.

that it took me a day to sort my feelings about the killing of America's number 1 enemy. I have no problem in the killing of bin Laden because this IS a war in which we're engaged. But I can't bring myself to celebrate the event. The following quote was passed around Facebook yesterday and it pretty well sums up how I feel ......

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." - Martin Luther King, Jr


The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation. - Bertrand Russell

I'm OK, I'm OK

I attended a collector car event this weekend. This car belonged to Bobby Darin back in the day. It's obviously a one-of-a-kind.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful and thAAnkful


that I have no need nor desire to go to bars and clubs any longer. I spent several decades going to bars. I'm constantly amazed at the number of my recovery friends who still spend time at bars. Many of them have one or more relapses as part of their history. hmmmmmmm.

for a lovely night of sober birthday celebrations on Saturday.

that even though I'm sick with flu-like symptoms, I am sober with recovery-type symptoms

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

How Great Thou Art

by Carrie Underwood

Funny Dogs

Today, ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. They are commonly called a design for living, and I totally agree with that.

for Step 3 -- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. This step plays a constant part in my every day life (usually). It automatically releases me of the heavy burden of controlling and running the world about me. All I have to do is participate.

for Step 10 -- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Practicing this concept allows me to monitro my behavior throughout the day. I dislike needing to make amends and this step helps me to prevent my instinctively bad behavior.

that I'm gonna have a nice weekend and hope you do too!



If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six hours sharpening my ax.
- Abraham Lincoln

Have a seat, please.

There. It's fixed.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for the things I get enough of ...

sobriety
recovery
food
friends
serenity
life
compassion


We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The life.

There. It's fixed.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for The Doctor's Opinion in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Someone pointed out how important it is that it's at the beginning of the book instead of at the end. We continue into the book knowing that alcoholism is considered a disease. Very important.


that I got to have a nice conversation with a recovery friend who is moving to California this weekend. Five of my friends have moved there in the past few months. I'm staying in Houston, thank you.

for love and tolerance; a fine code to have!

to those who give tirelessly to organizations, not just recovery. I always avoided giving my time until I stopped drinking. Now, I have many examples and teachers.


Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is... The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman

The program.

There. It's fixed.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a lovely Monday. I had no plans and thus, no disappointments.

for Step 10 -- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. It works (when I work it).

for the power of sharing. It's even more powerful than keeping my garbage to myself.

that I've been so fortunate to visit and work in so many countries.


We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
- Charles R. Swindoll

I'm NOT fixed yet

There. It's fixed.




todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that today is Monday and I don't have to go to a job

that I got to hear Kevin C. tell his story on Saturday. Kevin got sober here in Houston and now travels to AA Roundups and conferences to speak. His story is not unlike yours or mine, but the way he tells it is quite entertaining. But his messages are even better.

for patience. I put this on my list often, but it's one of the most spiritual tools I have acquired since getting sober. It really serves me well. When I'm not patient, I know there's something wrong.

that I do my best to follow life's rules -- the big ones and the little ones



If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own.

- Henry Ford

Character defects

One of the greatest challenges in ongoing sobriety is to repeatedly confront the same character defects over and over again. Or, more accurately, the consequences of those same character defects -- especially if you have really tried to address them via the tools offered in Alcoholics Anonymous.
It has been my experience (my painful, embarrassing, experience, actually) whenever I am in that place again, that my real problem is twofold:
The first is that I am looking at the result and not the process. In other words, it is easy to want to have money in the bank, but where I need to ask for HP's help is in spending differently. It is easy to want to get to work on time, but the focus should be on the willingness to go to sleep at a decent hour and get up at a realistic time to actually get ready and go. It's easy to want a different body, it's hard to be willing to eat differently or become disciplined about exercise.
My character defect is really not in the result, i.e. the bank balance, the tardiness or the numbers on the scale ... my character defect is to be found somewhere in the process.
The second thing -- and somehow I have found that although, logically, it doesn't appear related to the above, it actually is in powerful and unfathomable ways (cue spooky music) -- if I'm applying the principles and ideas from the 12 Steps to these things, the main point of the 7th Step (which, for the new kids, is "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.") is about humility -- not the shortcomings. Not the defects.
Humility.
I need a constant reminder of this, since, in certain areas I keep trying to make it about the problem, and not about a spiritual solution -- which I reach via humility.
Frankly, on some days it seems like this whole thing would be a lot easier if we could just scrap this "humility" thing altogether.

But apparently, some people have tried that.

From what I understand, they can be found down at the bar.

NOTE: I did not write this. It's much too well-written and thought out for me to take credit.

The Power of Words

Promises

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for everything

to look back and see how different my life is today than it was 2786 days ago, when I stopped drinking. I know a new freedom and happiness. I certainly don't regret the past and often refer to it. I know what true serenity is versus the laid-back feeling of being stoned and drunk. I know that my experiences (during and after drinking) can benefit others when I relate them with honesty and humility. I never feel useless and don't feel self-pity as often as I used to. I am less selfish and have a keen interest in my friends' lives. My whole attitude about life has changed and I see life through different eyes. I no longer have a fear of people. I sometimes do have negative thoughts about my finances, but not really a serious fear. I'm better at handling some situations that used to confuse me but I still need to ask for guidance from others - often. Certainly, my HP looks after me and helps when I can't do something for myself.
But I know that I absolutely must participate in my life.

The spiritual life is not a theory. I have to live it!

Trust yourself, then you will know how to live.

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

doin' the deal

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful

for humor in recovery. I got to hear one of my favorite speakers yesterday at a speaker meeting. He is entertaining and informative. His story is not much different than mine or yours but he tells it in a way that makes me want to hear more.

that since my mother died in 2008, my partner is the only person who knows where my buttons are. And he pushes them often.

that this blog is my first attempt at service work on most days

for all of you who continue to do whatever it takes

You're standing on the threshold of success. Don't look down, it'll make you dizzy.
- Timothy Q. Mouse in the Walt Disney movie Dumbo

here, here

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my home group finished reading through the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) for the 5th time in 7+ years. We read a few pages every Tuesday morning and then discuss what we've read.

that I don't "buy in to" so much of the rubbish I hear every day

but, I do keep an open mind to the opinions and thoughts of others

that my parents did the very best job they could do when raising my sister and I. I bet that most parents do the same.

Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

a few basics

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I never get tired of not drinking (or smoking)

for productive days - I'm doing lots of yard work these days. It's something I enjoy doing and can see immediate results.

that I have been painstaking about my sober development since day one; it takes constant participation for this alcoholic

that a couple of my tropical plants which suffered during the few freezing days in January are slowly coming back to life


To leave the world a bit better ... to know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

beginning a new week ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a peaceful and happy weekend, albeit somewhat busy

for everything I have

that I have been able to form some really good habits since I got sober, especially my morning prayer time

for the fellowship I find in recovery. I know I mention this often here, but it's a daily part of my life and it often is the highlight of my day.

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Gratitude Dance

Alert!

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”

The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is canceled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

– John Cleese – British writer, actor and tall person .

pre-weekend

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I go to 3 AA meetings today, before lunch

for insurance -- home, car, life, AA

that I was asked to listen to a fifth step yesterday by a non-sponsee. It's such an honor.

for acceptance and simplicity

A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else. - George Savile

I can't think of a title.

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for friends who tell me the truth

for friends

that I was very successful at practicing Step 3 yesteday which resulted in a very happy day

for that feeling I get when I go out of my way to try to make somone who is hurting feel better

He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.

- Socrates

all is in order

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that a completely unexpected spiritual experience resulted in my getting sober, 2777 days ago

that I was able to put myself in a position to have that experience

that I lived through 3+ decades of alcohol abuse

that I'm choosing to have a really good day today (but I have no particular plans)

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

- Albert Schweitzer

round and round

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I get to be responsible and dependable to the degree that people trust me to be there for them, even at 5:30am (LOL)

for the lessons in willingness that can be developed as a result of working Step 8

for friends who give me baseball ticket$ with great! seats

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. - Anonymous

an apple a day ...

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a really, really wonderful meeting on Saturday morning wherein we discussed humor in sobriety. I think everyone who attended left that meeting with a smile on our faces.

for love and tolerance, something I want to be remembered by

for few expectations and lots of acceptance

that my Astros won a game (oh dear, they're 2-7 and it doesn't look like it's gonna be a pretty season)


A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward

Red Skelton's Recipe

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner's from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more............

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..

3. I take my wife everywhere.... but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

Things people pass around ...

Home Sweet Home

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my home group (A.A.) studies the traditions regularly. I heard early on that the 12 steps help keep us from killing ourselves and the 12 traditions help us to keep from killing each other. Thus, I think they're important.

for my past

for my future

"Pause when agitated" is one of the most useful of suggestions I've ever heard. I knew nohting about that concept before I came into recovery. I use it often and I use it well.

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.

- Michael Althsuler

focusing

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that my friend Angela P. related part of her sober story yesterday. She's an amazing woman. At the age of 44, she has now been sober for 23 years.

that my acceptance level is at its highest point lately

that I'm really wanting to work on my involvement in the world of gossip. Such as, stop it!

Think about this one ........

"I've noticed that when I don't feel right, I'm just focusing on me."

When I am really honest, this is very true for me. The obvious solution is to help another alcoholic. Do I always do this? Hell, no. Sometime, it seems that I'd prefer to just wallow in my misery until it doesn't serve whatever dysfunctional purpose it's been serving. Then, and only then, do I change.

What's done is done.

- William Shakespeare

midweek

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I don't mind admitting when I'm wrong. It keeps me honest and sends a good message to others. I'm much less apt to admit when I'm right. I want to let the facts speak for themselves.

that forgiveness has a big place in my heart these days

to know I'm no better and no worse than my colleagues

This little tidbit has proven to be a lifesaver for me... I'd rather be happy -- than right.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

- Confucius

Solutions and stuff

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for solutions to all my problems

that I don't share in AA meetings about the reason my problems are so bad; I try to share about the solutions I have found

that before I could stop drinking, I had to realize and admit that many of my problems were because of my drinking

** and here's another phrase I really identify with -- Try praying. Nothing pleases God more than to hear a strange voice.


If I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel sad I will laugh. If I feel ill I will double my labor. If I feel fear I will plunge ahead. If I feel inferior I will wear new garments. If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice. If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come. If I feel incompetent I will think of past success. If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals. Today I will be the master of my emotions. - Og Mandino

Does it need to be said?

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I was on hand to hear Scott D. tell his AA story Saturday night. He's one of my favorite people and someone to whom I really look up to.

that I'm back just enjoying every minute of my life. I love it when this happens. Nothing seems to bother me. Even things that ordinarily bother just seem to slip away almost un-noticed.

for the great lines and mantras I've heard and learned in recovery. I'm going to share a few of them this week. One of my favorites is ...

Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Does it need to be said by me?

This has kept me out of arguments and helped prevent having to make future amends. Many times. Sometimes numerous times in a day. Try it. You'll like it.

Whoever is happy will make others happy too.

- Anne Frank

The Arrogance of Authority

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

(I just love this part....)

"Your badge, show him your BADGE........ ! !"

Build a jeep

8 soldiers pull up on a main street in Halifax , Nova Scotia on some holiday. They're in a standard issue WWII type Willys Jeep. In the span of about 5 to 6 minutes they completely disassemble the vehicle and reassemble it and drive off in it, fully operable! The idea is to show the genius that went into the making of the jeep and its basic simplicity. Fantastic.

I am an April fool

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got past the need to go to bars. It took about 9 months of sobriety, but it happened. Naturally. I just got tired of being sober around a bunch of drinking people. I know a lot of people in "recovery" who still frequent the bars. From time to time, I hear about one of them relapsing. It's never a surprise.

that doing things differently results in different things happening

that sometimes I even listen to my own advice!

that my Houston Astros begin their season today which will end at the end of September. This team is not likely to make any playoffs in October. But they're my team and I follow them in the bad times as well as the good.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

no title comes to mind

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for sobriety and my chances of dying sober

that my choices are almost infinite, especially when compared to my last days of drinking

for the guys I sponsor; they keep me alert

for people who call me when they have extra baseball tickets; I got 4 freebies to the Astros/Red Sox game last night and I got to take a couple of friends who had never been to Minute Maid Park (which opened in 2000)

Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky.

- Anaïs Nin

just chillin'

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I feel good. Emotionally. Physically. And especially spiritually.

for insurance. Home. Car. Life. Spiritual.

for sobriety. From alcohol. From drugs.

for friends. Lifelong friends. Recovery friends. New friends. Future friends.


When it’s Darkest, Men see the Stars. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

by design

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to realize, as an alcoholic, that sobriety doesn't just happen. Neither does a relapse.

for the consistency and constancy in my recovery program; it's not an accident

that I watched a BIOGRAPHY episode on Pink Floyd last night. Good stuff. I always loved their music.

that I won't get fooled, again


One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention. - Clifton Fadiman

peek-a-boo

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I was able to chair a full and crowded AA birthday night celebration at Lambda wihtout screwing it up too badly; we had 25 people celebrating a total of 274 years of continuous sobriety!

that I like being responsible and accountable

that I'm much better at keeping my (questionable and judgemental) thoughts to myself than I used to be

that people support me and that works both ways

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I really need it. - Swedish Proverb

The Green Thing

In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”

That’s right, they didn’t have the green thing in her day. Back then,they returned their milk bottles, Coke bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, using the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But they didn’t have the green thing back her day.

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.

But she’s right. They didn’t have the green thing in her day.

Back then, they washed the baby’s diapers because they didn’t have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts – wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that old lady is right, they didn’t have the green thing back in her day.

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house – not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a pizza dish,not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn’t have electric machines to do everything for you. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used wadded up newspaper to cushion it, not styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, they didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she’s right, they didn’t have the green thing back then.

They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled pens with ink, instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But they didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus, instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest
pizza joint.

But they didn't have the green thing back then!

No sympathy.

That's a good thing

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I seem to be really busy this week -- things just keep happening every hour
(that's a good thing)

that I almost always see my part in every aspect of my life
(that's a good thing)

for those who make it back to sobriety after a relapse
(that's a real good thing)

for my new car I bought this week (pictured above)
(that's an expensive thing, but good)


Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Taking action

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I got to learn more about a really cool young woman yesterday when she shared her alcoholic story with us. She is a frequent visitor from a European country but an alkie is an alkie.

to know that I know so little

for this little gem heard in a meeting ........
"My attitude is like a flat tire. If I don't change it, I won't get anywhere."

that I feel comfortable getting outside my comfort zone (sometimes) -- action outside the box!


Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow.”
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Read this advert!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful
that yesterday, Syd wrote about choices and balance. In recovery, these are the things that I strive for. The choices seem to come naturally since I stopped drinking. A whole new world opened up to me, just by not being drunk. Balance. This is something new to me and it's a daily goal. I've made progress, but still have a long way to go. Maybe this is the journey we talk about, which has no real destination.

for a reminder about my last 10 years of drinking. We read a story about having the morning shakes. Before I could write anything I had to get a beer or two in me. Occassionally even drinking a cup of coffee was nearly impossible, without using two very careful hands. I'll do anything to avoid reliving those days!

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain

A very old advert

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for step 6, step 6 and step 6

that once I became entirely willing to stop drinking, it happened (and not a minute before)

that simplicity is often in the mind of the beholder

that I still enjoy posting to this little blog/website every day. The dynamics have changed over the years. We used to have a much more close-knit group of recovery bloggers who supported each other through our comments. It was common for me to receive 10-15 comments every day. Some of us even travelled and got to know each other. Most of those guys and gals have stopped blogging. My daily recovery misses them. Today I rarely get more than 1 or 2 comments and really don't feel the closeness that I used to. But that doesn't stop me because I do this for me. If anyone reads it, great.

If anyone comments, so much the better. Feedback is good.


Life isn't about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw

Back to the present .........

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for awareness of my own self-will when it runs riot (yes, Ethel, that still happens)

for the speakers I was able to host during this month of chairing a Saturday night AA speaker meetings; this coming Saturday is our birthday night at Lambda Center when we celebrate many sobriety anniversaries

that I will not try to make any money or receive any other type of financial compensation from this blog, or from my recovery

for the fellowship that I am part of; it's so much richer than the bar "friends" I had

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver

A well planned retirement

*From The London Times:*


Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses.
For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant.....

The fees for cars ($1.40),for buses (about $7).

Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work,he just didn't show up; so the zoo management called the city council and asked it to send them another parking agent.

The council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the zoo's own responsibility.
The zoo advised the council that the attendant was a city employee.

The city council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the city payroll.

Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain or France or Italy is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years.

Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars......and no one even knows his name.

Did they really say that?

I received this in an email. I doubt it's legitimate, but I still think it's kind of funny. I hope it's not legitimate!




The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'Father's Details,' or putting it another way...Who's your baby's Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks...

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country.. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time..... well, I don't have clue..

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Time does matter

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for many birthday greetings yesterday -- somehow, I've now managed to live for over 57 years

for Step 5 - "Admitted to God, to ouselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." When I first did this with my sponsor at about 8 months sober, it taught me about being open and frank with someone. As rigorously honest as I could be. I learned about trust. And I attempt to continue that trust with the people with whom I work.

for the text on step 5 in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. It talks about the relationship between isolation and loneliness on page 57. I really identify with this writing.

for a long, slow recovery

A person acting from a motivation of contribution and service rises to such a level of moral authority that worldly success is a natural result.
- Marianne Williamson

31754

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I seem to have developed a really good defense against taking that first drink. I believe this is the single most important tool for an alcoholic to remain sober. And there seems to be an almost infinite number of ways to achieve this.

to know that my boundaries need to be for me, not against any particular person

for people who are honest with me

that I'm honest with others (I dislike making amends)


What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.
- Albert Pike

Rule #62

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for sponsees who are hungry to move forward (but not too fast)

that I get to choose the direction of my life, but I don't need to hold the compass

for fun and laughter in sobriety; we are NOT a glum lot (unless we choose to be)

that my days of being restless, irritable and discontent are rare, but I know there's a solution, just in case


Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

on a roll!

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I'm often wrong about people when I make assumptions; one would think that I'd learn mot to make assumption, eh?

for the formal education I received as a youngster

that I no longer have to struggle to remember the bad things I might have done last night

that we got a little rain yesterday - finally!


Here’s a question that was posed to the Dalai Lama:

"What thing about humanity surprises you the most?”
His answer was as follows: “Man”
Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices his money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn’t enjoy the present,
And as a result he doesn’t live in the present or the future.
And he lives as if he’s never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived.

Thoughts about Gratitude

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for our speaker Saturday night at Lambda. He came from Austin (a 3-hour drive) and brought a 6-man contingent/support group with him. They are all very inspiring.

for all the things I have, beginning with my life, my sobriety and my friends. These things are so much more appreciated and held close to me when I watch the chaos that is happening in Japan and in Libya. I'm an avid watcher of news and world events, so it's really staying in the front of my thoughts.

for those who "get it" and those who are hoping to "get it"


The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.
- Neale Donald Walsch

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, Thank You, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.
- Jean Baptiste Massieu

Appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy, however stale these experiences may have become to others.
- Abraham Maslow

10 Tips to Feel Happier NOW!

Ten Little Tips to Feel Happier Right Now

1. Smile. Raise the corners of your mouth. Soon your smile will become genuine. The smile that begins as an effort and a pretense quickly grows to become genuine, and given time, a habit of happiness. In the words of Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."

2. Breathe deeply and slowly. Focus your entire attention on each in-breath and out-breath. Imagine drawing new clean energy in through the top of your head on each in-breath, and expelling old stale energy out the soles of your feet on each out-breath.

3. Take a quiet walk by yourself. Focus on each step and on your breathing. As stray thoughts enter your mind, thank each one, and quickly release the thought and return to a focus on your breathing and your steps.

4. Count your blessings. Make a gratitude list. You have thousands of reasons to be thankful. Be thankful for those who serve you. Make a list of those you depend upon. Everyone has many people who help along the way. Don't forget those who grow and deliver your food, keep your electricity and telephone running, provide emergency medical care, and protect the safety of your community and your nation.

5. Forgive someone for something right now. Release the resentment and anger. This practice is for you to become happier. Telling the other person that you forgive them is completely optional, and is merely a bonus.

6. Stretch your body. Do yoga, do qigong, or just stand and stretch. As a simple stretch, stand and hold your arms out to your sides forming a cross. Gently bend each hand back at the wrist until the fingers point straight upward. Twist each hand and arm in a wringing motion as if you were operating a screwdriver.

7. Turn on happy music and dance. Don't stop 'til you're tired. Dance with someone or dance all by yourself. Choose music that makes you want to move and keep moving such as Latin Fitness Dance music.

8. Spend some time with a furry friend. If you don't have your own, borrow a cat or dog to love today.

9. Be of service. Find someone who has worse troubles than you and do something nice for them today.

10. Have a conversation with God (or whatever you call your Higher Power). Approach the conversation with an attitude of gratitude rather than neediness.

JayWalking

H.O.W.

And thus, dear students, we have arrived at the basic formula for understanding women.




todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I remain honest, open-minded, and most of all, willing

for those who started the recovery journey and those who are teaching me

that I have so much to learn and even more to change; I hope I live long enough LOL

that things seem to be working out in ways I can accept (sometimes reluctantly)



When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
- Lao Tzu

Habitually mine

If something is truly important to you, make it a daily habit. If healthy eating is important, make it a daily habit. If exercise is important, do it daily. If prayer is important, do it daily.

What you don't do daily, you probably won't do weekly either. What you make a habit of putting off just keeps getting pushed away again and again.

If something is important to you, attend to it immediately, and regularly. If something is not really important to you, that's great also - just scratch it off your to-do list forever, and never worry about it again. Choose how you invest your time, and honor your choices.


todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that to be happily sober, I had to change some old habits -- and I did!

that when I stopped smoking, more old habits just disappeared. Things that I thought would keep me from being able to stop smoking, such as what to do with my hands, how could I possibly not smoke after eating? etc...

for my lifelong habit of waking up early, ready to face the day. Even at the height of my drinking, this was always the case. It has served me well.

for Steps 6 & 7 which are terrific aids in my recovery from bad habits


We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
- Will Durant (commonly attributed to Aristotle)

Easier than it seems

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I do my very best to see good in people these days; that's NOT who I used to be!

that my future doesn't have to be part of my past, unless I choose it to be

that I am usually a very law-abiding citizen (sometimes I drive a little too fast, but I catch myself and slow down)

for new beginnings


People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar

just a couple thoughts ...

todAAy i AAM grAAteful & thAAnkful


that I can stay sober even when going through my own mental anguish

that I no longer think about drinking and I don't think about not drinking

that I keep my side of the street pretty damn clean

for reruns of All in the Family


He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
- Harold Wilson

the way it is .......

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

for a wonderful experience this weekend. We had a fundraiser at Lambda Center and my homegroup (6:30am AA meeting Eyes Wide Shut) participated with an entry. Each entry (team) had to build a small Mardi Gras-type float using a grocery store shopping cart as the chassis. We spent about a month planning and buying materials and costumes and putting it all together. Our entry won the competition by raising the most money (from the crowd).
Winning is nice, but the fellowship and teamwork we had was incredible. I can't include pictures because of anonymity issues, but trust me, the float and the costumes were out of this world!!

that Step 3 has really been in my face lately (that's a good thing, a real good thing)

for the awareness that most of my troubles are of my own making (damnit!)

that even though I'm staying very occupied, I am still fighting the tempatation to isolate. Not sure why.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama