Half Measures

"Half measures availed us nothing."

In AA meetings, we hear that every time we go. To overcome this disease, to put it into remission, I had to make a commitment to DO WHATEVER IT TAKES."

At first, I only went to the meetings. Afterward, I would head to the bar and continue just as I always did. Drink to oblivion, showing off my 24-hour desire chip (from AA) to anyone who would gaze upon it. It provided a few good laughs as I bellied up to the bar. Those first 3 months of meetings, I actually increased my alcoholic-intake hours from about 15 hours a day to 18 hours each day. Who'd of thunk it was possible?

I was convinced that AA and quitting drinking was just not going to work for me. After all, I was still at it, wasn't I. Stronger than ever. The days got longer, the daily tears flowed faster and more often; in essence, life just got worse. I didn't really think I could stop nor did I want to. I was only making a half-ass attempt to change. And it did not work.

I had no sponsor, no praying in my life, no spirituality. Only some meetings under my belt. I had no use whatsoever for the Twelve Steps of AA. So I couldn't get sober. Not for 24 hours. Hell, hardly for 12 hours. Then I hit my alcoholic bottom, allowed God into my life and it happened. HE took that obsession from me -- instantly.

From that moment, I knew what I needed to do because I had absorbed the knowledge that was necessary to stay stopped. I had to take the action and just not drink for 24 hours. I now understood what half-measures really meant.

That moment occurred 18 months ago - TODAY. Tomorrow, I celebrate 540 days without an alcoholic drink! A true miracle of God and my willingness to "DO WHATEVER IT TAKES."

"HALF MEASURES AVAILED ME NOTHING."