an afterthought ...

During a little self-analysis (ouch!) after the passing of Hurricane Rita, it occurs to me ...

from the age of 17, when I began a long and mostly happy drinking career, I drank for the excitement. I drank to get drunk. Sloshed, when possible. The more, the better. It really didn't matter if people noticed because I acted the way drinking guys were supposed to act. If I hurt myself, that was OK. If I hurt someone else, I could apologize the next day.

I could "get out of myself." No longer the introvert when I drank.

This past week, during the 5 days leading up to the arrival of a major hurricane, there was excitement. Anxiety too, for sure. But that feeling of impending excitement and maybe doom was there. Of course, with Katrina so fresh on my mind, I didn't want the damage that would inevitably come with a storm of magnitude. But the tense excitement of the high winds and seeing stuff fly through the sky was there. I wanted to see that. Just don't hurt anyone.

Alcoholic drinking or Hurricanes.

Excitement + Damage. They go together and can't be separated.
You have one, you have both.

I'm sorry for all those who were forced to experience the storm and suffer its effects. I don't wish to minimize the terrible things that have happened. But for this recovering alkie, I've had enough excitement and damage to last for my lifetime.