Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I'm not giving up



todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that I didn't give up 5 minutes before the miracle.  This has a lifelong lesson for me.

for relationships.  There are so many, but to name just a few ...
... my family (small as it is)
... my life partner
... my friends and acquaintances in recovery
... Houston drivers and other drivers everywhere

Bill W. and the first 100 wrote that most alkies don't have a clue about how to have a successful relationship.  I tend to agree with this.  When I began drinking alcoholically at age 16, my emotional maturity slowed to a crawl.  I missed out on opportunities to learn how to successfully enjoy the company of others.  Most of my relationships involved drinking or drug use or sex.  I rarely had time for other people. 
Fast forward to sobriety at the age of 49.  All of a sudden, I don't drink or take drugs or have crazy, anonymous sex.  I have a partner.  My emotional maturity that slowed down at the age of 16 has barely developed over the decades. 
Now, I'm 57 and feel like an infant as to how to have good relations with the world.  Sobriety/recovery is offering me the chance to develop as a functioning, mature man.  Maybe by the time I'm 80 or so, I'll be better at this thing. 
Until then, I will just keep trying.  I won't give up 5 minutes before the miracle.


When you get into a tight place
and everything goes against you,
till it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer,
never give up then, for that is just
the place and time the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

7 comments:

louisey said...

Dave I'm not sure I expect to have a clue about relationships until I'm 90 at least!

Pammie said...

Yeah Dave...I still suck at the whole relationship thing.

Mary Christine said...

I think I'll shoot for 85.

Syd said...

Great self-truths about relationships. I don't think that I had a clue either. What I wanted was not attainable by anyone because it was a made up fantasy. We learn now as we go but recovery has made it so much better.

Jeremy said...

I agree. They are tricky, but you're right, we just keep learning and growing and hopefully do our best to not harm others or ourselves along the way....at least that is what I strive for even if it's not always easy

tjmiller said...

I agree. I waited until I had almost a year of sobriety to get into a relationship. Still feels odd at times, don't know if this is how it should be.

Carol said...

Who needs health insurance when we have hand puppets?