Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Gaydar NOT

I realized I was gay at about age 19. I'd had a number of homosexuist experiences, but thought that was what most guys did. (on reflection, maybe I was right)

But unless I am at a gay bar or otherwise gay-related function or event, I have a really difficult time telling who is gay and who is not. In fact, that distinction rarely enters my mind. My thinking tends to believe that everyone is str8 unless they do something to make me think differently.

When I met Hayden (my last EX) we were in a straight bar in Trinidad. I thought he was gorgeous and was immediately attracted to him. But he was there with a girl and I had no reason to think he was anything other than a heterosexuist. Fortunately, I found out differently later that night. That same theme has been with me all my life.

I just don't know who is and who isn't.
How 'bout you?

16 comments:

Mary Christine said...

The best way for me to find out is to marry them. After a few years of marriage, you tend to find out for sure whether someone is gay or not.

In other words, I have NO GAYDAR.

Da Gal said...

My GAYDAR is always on and usually right. The funny thing is I just don't seem to pay attention to it until someone asks me whether or not I think someone is "family."

It's really a useless tool in my world because whether or not someone is gay is really inconsequential to me... and I have had the same experience as Mary Christine... LOL after I date them a while I can tell for sure. :)

Scott said...

My best friend in the entire world (probably my soulmate on some level or another) is lesbian. I seem to have an ability (gaydar?) to identify lesbians, better than gay men. Maybe because I have spent so much time in the company of lesbians, I dunno.... An interesting topic... I dunno, I don't really spend a lot of time trying to figure all that out! People are who they are, I accept people for who they are!

Lex-Sunshine said...

I used to think I had a gaydar that worked, but lately I've been super suprised, numerous times. Last occurance - I didn't get it until these guys were in the middle of the dance floor singing, "Its Raining Men" I'm so dense. (and I've never heard that song before, so it was probably 1/2 way over before I snapped!) I think, like Da Gal, that it doesn't matter so it's just not something that crosses my mind.

Scott W said...

My gaydar is often right on. But as time goes by, and the world gets more homogenized (no pun intended) I find it more and more difficult to tell the difference. At the same time, I care to see the difference less. It's funny how like attracts like, birds of a feather and all that.

AAwoken said...

My gaydar is good. Rarely wrong. My wife's gaydar should be returned to the manufacturer as it is totally defective.

AAwoken said...

Wait a minute! This is a test right? Are you trying to say that you are infact, Gay? Shit! My gaydar is broken.

Hah!

Sober Chick said...

Who is or who is not I too am puzzled with. How do you know? I think there is much more to each person's situation.

My mom is gay -- although she spent many years with my father and other men, she became true to what she was in my early teens. For her, she was borne this way. There is more to this. But 4 now I will leave it at that. I know she is truly happy with her life style. For this I am happy and love her so.

I was with a woman for 5 years, not sure if that means I am gay or not cuz I am in love with a male today. My situation is different than my mom's. For me, I discovered unconditional love, and like any relationship, we grew distant. For me it was not seeing the gender but seeing the person -- kinda like seeing beyond the alcoholic behavior. Both men and women are physical attractive, but what lies within is the main attraction. Choice, born that way, not for me to decide. Acceptance of the person is what I can do.

Anyhow, I am rambling. Thank yo as always!

NMAMFQLMSH said...

happy tuesday
i see you
jj

Jake McCafferty said...

I'm right more often than not. But this meterosexual trend is really screwing with my senses. And not in a good way.

Daily Piglet said...

Just catching up on your posts .... Yes, I can usually tell. I feel safest with gay men (not sure why b/c ya'll are a fright sometimes too)...

I am very intuitive in many situations. I consider it my consolation prize to abuse. If I could "sniff" my situation out and brace myself, it meant I could protect my mind a little before it happened and have the time to "remove" myself mentally.

Good post tho :)

Sean Cody said...

I just wish that 1% of the interent community understood this topic as well as you did. Thankyou!
Have a great one.
Sean Cody

Gef said...

In the day and age where people are so secretive I really appreciate you sharing your true thoughts.
Regards

Sean Cody

Gef said...

Hey that is way cool! Thanks for the insight
Randy Blue

Gef said...

As my mother used to say if you have nothing nice to say...

G

My Gay Zone

Gef said...

That's too funny! But where do you get that info?

G

My Gay Zone