I had never heard the term of "taking people hostage" as we refer and relate to it in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Not until I began going to the meetings.
Of course, I didn't like that term. Because I realized that's exactly what I had been doing all my life. I've told you before about my experience with Hayden. Click here and here for a refresher.
It's been 30 months since we've seen each other. December '03. He moved back to Trinidad. He is still in my thoughts each and every day. I can't help that. He just appears with no warning at some of the most unusual times. After making my amends to him at 10 months into my sobriety, I began my recovery. Step 9 of A.A.'s Twelve Steps changed my life. It allowed me to begin a new life.
I've had to let Hayden go. I've had to let him live his own life. We still speak on the phone and even chat on Yahoo instant messaging ocassionally. I sometimes fantasize that one day we'll be back together and live happily ever after. Yeah, right. LOL That will never happen. I want the best for him and he is carving his own life in a land far, far away. For that I am grateful.
As much as it hurts (it still does at times), I had to set him free.