Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Working it

"I kept asking myself, "Why can't the twelve steps work to release depression?" By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis Prayer ... "it's better to comfort than to be comforted". Here was the formula, all right, but why didn't it work? Suddenly, I realized what the matter was. My basic flaw had always been dependence, almost absolute dependence, on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and the like. Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and specifications, I had fought for them. And when defeat came, so did my depression.
There wasn't a chance of making the outgoing love of St. Francis a workable and joyous way of life until these fatal and almost absolute dependencies were cut away."
Bill Wilson, Grapevine, 1953

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

that it's so much easier to recognize when I'm "out of sorts" with myself than it used to be

that I have some tools to deal with my feelings and they work WHEN I'M WILLING TO USE THEM!

that once again, my HP inserted someone into my day just when I needed it and for all the right reasons

a friend in the hospital is OK after sudden and unexpected surgery

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
-Richard Bach

10 comments:

Angie said...

Thanks for reminding me about willingness...I forget sometimes that I not only have to know what the tools are, but actually have to use them to feel better.

Lex-Sunshine said...

Isn't it a strange feeling to go "oh, I'm a little off! what's wrong?" and be able to identify it and correct it, accept it, deal with it instead of just acting out? I used to have to be in the middle of BIG time acting out before I figured out something was wrong.......... : ) isn't that nice progess?

Scott said...

dAAve, you and Scott W. are always so dialed in to what I need to read/hear... I love that reading from Bill W. The solutions are there... Unfortunately, we're told "everything is fine, I can handle stuff myself..." by our disease and we pass right by the solution all the time (at least, I do). I am better than I was and growing all the time, but I definitely have a ways to go. At least I have learned to enjoy the journey, celebrate the successes and learn from the failures....

Rex said...

As always, well said. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction today.

Matt said...

I know exactly what you mean about now being better at recogizing when you're "out of sorts". For example, I am now learning how to recognize when I'm being particularly "cunt-y", and if necessary, I can just withdraw a bit to keep from biting someone's head off

And yes, coffee sometime would be great! Maybe Friday night before the meeting?

Shannon said...

Oh man can I relate to that grapevine blurb well
better than I used to be though and at least now, I am willing to admit it...
Life is good
have a good daay Daave

Sober Chick said...

I am learning to not to compare my success with others, my happiness with others, my program with others. Hearing it in many forms and different ways gives more ways to not depend on others in that way.
So thanks!

HPs are the coolest, working majic and giving us just what we need -- it is just enough.

lash505 said...

I needed this today. Some how you always say the right think when I need it..

BigSkymAAck said...

That hit home I really need to look at that prayer and my flaws a lot closer. Thank You

NMAMFQLMSH said...

As always dAAve a wonderful grateful list.
I see you,
JJ