Saturday, May 19, 2007

Swapping body parts ...

Top 10 things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:

10.
Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9.
Squat over a hand mirror for an hour and a half.

8.
See if they could finally do the splits.

7.
See if it's truly possible to launch a Ping-Pong ball 20 feet.

6.
Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5.
Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes... before closing time.

4.
Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3.
Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2.
Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.

And the number one thing a man would do is:
Finally find that damned G-spot.

Top 10 things a woman would do if she woke up with a penis for a day:

10.
Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9.
Get a blow job.

8.
Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7.
Pee standing up while talking to other men at the urinal.

6.
Determine why you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5.
Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4.
Touch/shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may be to others.

3.
Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2.
Understand the reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member.

And the number one thing a woman would do is:
Repeat number 9.

12 comments:

Mary Christine said...

Really? #9. hmmmm.

Scott W said...

You sure about #9?

Trudging said...

Yes, I would love to pee standing up

jrhighpeteacher said...

I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

lushgurl said...

Once again, I am amazed at how sick some of us still are! It's all good though dAAve, love ya anyways!

Scott W said...

They make those little disposable cups for women so they can pee while standing. Hehe.

Shannon said...

OH I laughed and laughed at this one thanks- I especially loved this
"Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks"

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Definitely no.7. I'm gonna set a new world record for launching a Ping-Pong ball more than 20 feet.

Syd said...

What about those Italian egg plants? I like the G spot one. I never thought that was real until I actually found it.

Zane-nawwaa said...

Yeh #7. Taking a pee with other men and try not to let them see me checking them out. Now that's an art. It's just hard to believe that there are so many men that small. HE HE.

Scott said...

I know for sure I wouldn't see the light of day for awhile... especially if the prayer came true lol

funny stuff dAAve!

Piglet said...

those sure are on target! i would LOVE peeing while standing up or anywhere i go not worrying about having to clean the seat first.

oh and i'd love to spell my name in the snow.

that's about all i'd go for tho.