Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Trying to Do the Deal

This is one of my favorite jokes of the past decade ...

"NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected...

a half-gallon of 2% milk
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."

todAAy i AAm grAAteful & thAAnkful

to be asked to chair the 6:30am Monday meetings at Lambda for June

to be asked to chair the 12:15pm Monday meetings at Lambda for June (I turned this down; didn't want to be too greedy)

for the freedom of choice

that I do not act on all the thoughts that run around inside my brain

that I spent a couple of hours at a friends' home on Memorial Day for snacks and fellowship

that I begin a series of 24 sessions with my new personal trainer today

that I made an appointment for a full physical exam with a new doctor (GP) for next week

Those who believe they can do something are probably right--and so are those who believe they can't.
-Unknown

10 comments:

Pam said...

My guess is that everyone is lucky that you don't act on all the thoughts running around in your head ;)

Trudging said...

Lol

Mary Christine said...

Wow. You are one meetin' chairin' guy!

Redhead Gal said...

I'm not sure I could be grateful about the 6:30 AM time!

lushgurl said...

Yup, I'm grateful that I don't have to act on mu thoughts today too!
love and HUGS

Zane-nawwaa said...

And I always thought you were single.

Tab said...

freedom of choice..makes me think of that old Devo song..lol

doh! now it's going to be banging around in my head all freaking day!

Shannon said...

thank you for that joke ahahahahahha
I am with ya too I am glad I do not act on all the thoughts in my head.... I would say a lot of not nice things sometimes and I dont really mean them LOL

Clarity said...

Cool about your personal trainer. I hope you reach your goals.

Meg Moran said...

personal trainer...very cool! between that and the new bike, you're gonna be downright HUNKY!!!