God willing

As electrical activity continues to occur inside my skull despite decades of behavior that should have discontinued it, I've had this thought ...

from everything that I've heard, and from what I believe (at this time in my life), my God or Higher Power was always there for me. I usually didn't realize it, but He was there, always looking out for me. He also gave me the freedom to do what I wanted to do; good or bad. But I wanted nothing to do with a God in my life.

Thus, when I hear people say, "God willing ... I can do this" or "God willing ... that won't happen to you", I don't quite understand. I believe that God (as I understand Him) has always been willing. He's always been there. It was I who was not willing to believe. It was I who was not there for Him.

Just a thought running through my head.
Have a GREAT day!
God willing.