Alcoholics and addicts are typically considered to be very selfish. Meaning that we tend to place ourselves and our own feelings and happiness, before any consideration of others.
I like to think that I've always placed others before me, but when I honestly sit down and look at my behaviours over the years, that certainly is not always the case. I have learned that I can't make this correction in my thinking by myself. I need help. I pray each night that God (as I understand Him) remove my shortcomings that keep me from doing His will. My thinking alone tells me to do my will, not His.
A situation occurred yesterday that painfully pointed out my selfishness to me. I was with my elderly mother and was ready to leave. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. She wanted me to stay a little longer to help her with a financial matter. I almost "lost it." But only in my mind. I caught my faulty thinking BEFORE I verbalized anything that would have been quite hurtful to her. I realized that it wouldn't hurt me one friggin' bit to stick around a little longer.
This, my friends, is the magic of recovery.
Even though I can't always control my flawed thinking, I can control my behaviour. Because of this improvement, today I don't have an amends to make. And today, I am still happy and sober.
Progress. Not perfection.