AM I GAY? Or what?
It was 1987.
I worked in the Houston office for a large corporation with international operations. One day my elderly boss told me to hand-deliver a job bid (in an envelope) to our man in Rio de Janiero. Brasil. (my boss didn't trust FedEx or UPS to get it there in time)
I already had a current business visa so the next day I was off. I was 33 years old and was met by my colleague, Paul (40 yrs old), at the Rio airport. I handed over the envelope to him and my duties were done. Complete. It was a Friday afternoon and he asked me to stay in town for the weekend and play tourist. He'd show me around the city. I didn't have much cash on me and he said not to worry; he'd take care of me. We had been good friends for years, since I began with the company.
The next night I met Paul's girlfriend, a young Brasilian beauty. He made arrangements for a double date so I could taste some of the local cuisine. Since I wasn't "out of the closet" at work, I could not find a way out of this. So his girlfriend brought along her best friend. The four of us ate dinner and made our way to a few bars. We wound up back at Paul's company apartment, in Ipanema. The four of us! Although I'd been drinking, I was in a near panic. I was expected to sleep with this girl. She was another gorgeous 20-ish Brasilian girl-of-the-night type. The spare bedroom had only a single bed. Not enough room to be side-by-side.
I was in my underwear and she undressed completely. I was really in a panic now. I did not want to have sex with this girl, beautiful as she was. I tried to tell her I just wanted to sleep; that I was too drunk. She didn't understand. I don't know if she didn't understand my English or just couldn't figure out why I was so aloof and indifferent. She did everything she could think of to excite me, but all her attempts were in vain. As the Chinese say after another politician is appointed, "No erection here today." Nothing happened. I just wanted to sleep. So we did.
If she'd only brought her twin brother ...
6 comments:
Women rock. And so do some men.
Didn't have the ending I expected....lol...I DID rexpect the brother to arrive or something...
....my mind is a sewer. LMAO!
If it had been me I'd probably have thought you the perfect gentleman! Maybe thats what she thought?
I was gettin' panicky for ya! Sounded like she wasn't going to take no for an answer. Glad it worked out for ya!
Você é bonito mas eu sou gay. Portuguese for "You are beautiful but I am gay"......
Love you bro,
JJ
And while you were doing that, Dave, I lived a mile north of the bar where I drank, and in between was a large gay enclave. So I'd get hit on by at least a half dozen guys at least three nights a week, walking home from the bar.
Maybe we would have been happier drunks if we had traded places. At least I would have been, on that Saturday night! :)
Oh my goodness HP! What an awkward situation! The things we get ourselves into, huh?
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