For 20 years, I had a great career. I worked hard. And I worked good.
I did the best I could, although a few times my alcoholism got in the way. But not often. I have to assume that I did a pretty decent job because the 2 companies I worked for sent me to remote countries, to oversee projects that pulled in $2 - $3 million per month.
I rarely got raises in salary (it seems the industry was continually in a downturn, thus that excuse became boring). I never got promoted. I didn't even get evaluated, which was company policy. The excuse for that was because I was always out of the country and not available for one-on-one evaluation (that was a bunch of B.S.). Probably the reason I kept my job was because I was willing to go to these far-off places for extended and undetermined lengths of time, by myself. So I drank all I wanted to drink.
On one hand, it was a fantastic job for a practicing alkie. Pretty much work my own hours as long as the job got done. I could even drink when I was working, most of the time. I was by myself. No one looking over my shoulder. So I drank more.
On the other hand, I am a sensitive person. Most alcoholics and addicts are. I always knew I was doing a good job, but I couldn't even get a pat on the back. Little or no recognition. I needed that reassurance and never got it. So I drank more.
I wonder if there's any connection between never being validated and being an alcoholic.
Today, I don't need another person to validate me. That's now just between me and my HP.