Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusvie that, while they admit it is injurious, the cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks --- drinks which they see others taking with impunity.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, The Doctor's Opinion, Page XXIX
"... their alcoholic life seems the only normal one."
This was soooooooo me. I accepted early in my 32 year drinking career that I was an alcoholic. By doing this, I could justify any and all drinking. Whenever, wherever, and however much I drank.