It seems that during June and July there has been an abundance of newcomers and returnees to the rooms of AA. At least, at Lambda Center where I attend meetings. Certainly a lot more than we usually have. Our stock of milestone medallions ran low til we got in a new shipment a few days ago. That never happens.
The topic of a meeting over the weekend concerned the subject of relapse. Some are ashamed to come back, many feel guilty. These are self-imposed fears because for all of us who've been in recovery for any length of time, it's always wonderful to see people come back. Many don't come back.
It seems some of those with long-term sobriety feel a little superior. Not all of course, but it does occur. I suppose they are free to feel that way if they wish, but it seems the message that sends to newcomers can be devastating. After all, we are drunks. We drink. That's what we do. Each day any of us goes without drinking is a miracle. It doesn't seem right to look down on someone just because they haven't quite "got it" yet.
After all, isn't the program of Alcoholics Anonymous about sobriety and not seniority?
9 comments:
I am a retread. I wasn't lucky enough to 'get it' on the first couple of tries but I will be forever grateful for all those who kept coming back, whether they stayed from the first day or finally 'got it' after relapsing. They were all the ones that welcomed me back.
I want to be there to welcome back others.
I have a lot of gratitude for those folks who come back. I always learn so much from them. Best of all I learn it all on "their dime."
You are absolutely right HP. Sometimes I get a little upset with senior (longtimers) but I never make fun or bash the one's who keep coming back....they are the ones who need it most.
Peace,
JJ
Hurray! You've got it! The concept of importance here is not seniority but one day at a time, which is all any of us have. QN
Miriam Webster dictionary defines relapse as follows:
1 : the act or an instance of backsliding, worsening, or subsiding
2 : a recurrence of symptoms of a disease after a period of improvement
Congrats to Jim...I also thought like him for 7 years..(tried to do it without recovery),next time it was an 8 year dry drunk..I am committed to this recovery..the 12 steps are helping me to minimize that ego and become humble to my higher power..For me a most valuable inner peace and freedom.xoxox's
Anonymous...you go girl!
Jim ...
We have previously agreed to disagree, so I will continue in that frame of reference.
1) a relapse is a relapse, whatever one wants to name it. I'll stick with the accepted term as defined by the dictionary and understood by most.
2) I know that, in my case, especially towards the end, I drank when I DID NOT WANT TO. I couldn't stop on my own willpower and motivation.
3) Some people do quit on their own, with little or no treatment. Bill W. of AA acknowledges that and tips his hat to them. Many are not so fortunate. This illness comes in many shapes, forms and levels of seriousness.
4) DRY-DRUNK - if there's a name for it, someone has done it. That is the precise meaning of abstinence without happiness.
5) Which came first, abstience or spirituality? That is an individual matter for each of us. I could not stop before I accepted a higher power to surrender to and ask for help. For you (apparently) stopping drinking came first. Great. Now you are discovering a spirituality that you have not known before. Great. It is obvious in your comments the past 2 months.
6) Finally, if I accept? your last statistic on 2/3 who quit on their own and don't know they are miserable ... Why do you think they quit? Because they were happy?
Anyway, thanks for your alternative comments. They make us all think. That is a good thing. Awareness with choices is something I did not have before because I was too drunk to pay attention.
Running out of newcomer chips is cause for celebration, isn't it! First-timers, retreads, whichever (and most of us have been both), each one is an individual who has a new desire to stop drinking. Each one is a miracle.
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